September 22, 2024 Preaching | Ptr. Tim Elmor
When it comes to the next generation, we must prepare the child for the path…not the path for the child. Just like a butterfly cannot fully develop when forced out of its cocoon before it’s ready, we cannot have the right life skills for real life if we do not go through the right “growing up” process.
Our world today values speed over “slow”, convenience over “hard”, entertainment over “boring”, nurture over “risk” and entitlement over “labor”. But even neuroscientists today say that boredom is necessary and good for us because ti enables our brain to develop creative ideas and empathy. We avoid letting our children take reasonable risks because we just want them to be “safe”. But they will have to face risks for them to develop into mature men and women someday. When things are hard, and we have to work hard for what we need or want ti grows us into good adults as spouses, workers, bosses, and disciplers.
Things that naturally took place 50 years ago are things that we have to now be intentional about in our families. In the Old Testament, we read about the tribe of Issachar who understood the times they lived in, and what the Israelites needed to do for that time 1( Chronicles 12:32). We ought to be like the sons of Issachar and find out what we need to do for our families in the culture we live in today.
Four Junctions in Your Day to Invest in Your Kids (Deuteronomy 6:7) How do we go about investing in our children when a lot is going on that keeps us busy? Deuteronomy 6:7 shows us four junctions in our daily lives that we can maximize in parenting our children:
1- “When you sit down” – use mealtimes to teach, process their experiences with them;
2- “When you walk” – use travel time for conversations;
3- “When you lie down – at bedtime, you can play the role of counselor to your kids;
4- When you get up” – you can send them out with encouraging words or a challenge as they go to school.
Train Up Your Child (Proverbs 22:6)
This is an EPIC generation; they are Experiential, Participatory, Image-rich, and Connected. Here are five ideas (gifts) to engage the next generation to help them grow and mature into adults:
1- Do something scary: There’s something that comes alive when we do something risky, that helps put the “fear of God” into you! There’s no growth ni the comfort zone, there’s no comfort ni growth. Process the experience with them.
2- Meet someone significant: When we meet someone important in our society, we grow as a result of that encounter.
3- Travel someplace new: Going to a new place that’s unfamiliar and uncomfortable makes you trust God more! You don’t have to travel far, but just somewhere different from your comfort zone.
4- Chase a meaningful goal: When you have a target to hit, you will be energized to go after it. Give your children a chance the pursue their goals.
5- Work and wait for something you want: We don’t like waiting! But when children learn to work for what they want and wait for it, they become more grateful when they finally get what they wanted, waited, and worked for.
How could you employ these for others?
We need a change of mind about how we treat our children. fI we treat them as fragile, they will most assuredly become fragile adults. But if we communicate they’re worthy of high standards, they will rise to the occasion.
Our Choice as Leaders of the Next Gen
| If We Lead Them Well… | If We Don’t Lead Them Well… |
| They’ll be problem solvers | They’ll be part of the problem |
| They’ll embrace a service mindset | They’ll embrace a scarcity mindset |
| They’ll enjoy PTG (Growth Mindset) | They’ll be triggered by stress (PTSD) |
| They’ll emerge with a grit narrative | They’ll emerge with a victim narrative |
| They’ll see a silver lining | They’ll see a dark cloud |
| They’ll be resilient and resourceful | They’ll be reactive and regretful |
Shifts We Have to Make
To lead the next generation well (our children and disciples) here are the changes we need to make:
1. Don’t think CONTROL, think CONNECT.
When things go wrong, don’t try to take control. Seek a connection with them; try to understand where they are coming from. You won’t get control, but you gain more influence with them.
2. Don’t think INFORM, think INTERPRET.
T h e y d o n ‘ t n e e d us for i n f o r m a t i o n ; t h e y g e t t h a t f r o m s o m a n y s o u r c e s (Google, YouTube, etc.). They need us for interpretation of the things they learn from social media, the internet.
3. Don’t think TELL, think ASK.
When children are very young, they need to be told certain things for sure. But as they grow into their teens, ask them questions instead, like “How did you come to that conclusion?”; “What made you do that?”; “Do you think that’s the best solution?”, etc.
4. Don’t think LECTURE, think LAB.
Young people need experiences (lab), not more lectures! T h e s e experiences make them grow more.
5. Don’t think MANAGE, think MENTOR.
Young people would rather have you mentor them, not manage them. Going t h r o u g h a ” r i t e of p a s s a g e ” e x p e r i e n c e i s o n e w a y y o u c a n g i v e y o u r children the mentoring they need. There are cultures in the world, like in Africa or the Jewish culture (Bar Mitzvah), that have rites of passage for their young people to enter into adulthood. You can create one for your child, too as they turn into young adults (teens). Choose a handful of mentors (women for your daughters, men for your sons), and let your children learn from them and be their mentors. It could just be a day with them at work or their homes, etc. Your g r o u p family can be mentors to your children!
Help the next generation flourish! Be a mentor to a young person today; provide experiences for them to develop and mature into Christ-committed followers.